Monday, February 14, 2011

somewhere there's a someone for everyone

dress - modcloth
sweater - f21
hair bow - f21
sunglasses - fred flare
shoes - my grandmom

So, today is Valentine's Day. I thought it would be a good day to confess a deep, dark embarrassing secret that I've kept hidden from all but a handful of online friends. I am perpetually single. I'm 24 years old and I've never been on a single date in my entire life. It's not that I'm super picky or anything. It just never happened.

In high school none of the guys I was interested in asked me out, so I went through high school dateless. Then right out of high school I started taking online college classes, so there was no real interaction with other humans. Choosing a career as an artist led me to work from home, so no interaction there either. Honestly I don't really even want to meet anyone while I live in my hometown because I'm afraid that I'll get tied down here, and I don't want to live here for another month let alone an entire lifetime. I'm finally moving in the fall, hopefully taking on-campus classes and getting a real live job. I feel like my life is finally going to begin, but at the same time I feel incredibly naive. I'm in my mid-twenties and I am a complete romantic novice. I'm terrified that I'll meet someone wonderful, and they'll be turned off by my inexperience. I don't even know if that's something you spill on a first date... How do you tell someone in their 20's or 30's that your first date with them is actually your first date EVER! It has such a negative connotation, like people will either think my parents kept me incredibly sheltered (which they didn't) or that I have some kind of mental problem (which I don't). It's hard to explain that it's just a series of strange circumstances, a deep-seated fear of being stuck in New Jersey (okay, my hatred for my home state might be a little less than normal) and a poor teenage dating batting average that got me here.

I'll be the first to admit, though, that deep down I do believe I'll find someone someday who is understanding and patient, and who thinks my inexperience is endearing, not off-putting. It might take a while to find them, but I think they're out there. I'm not really a romantic but I do believe that somewhere there's a someone for everyone, and somewhere there's a someone for me :)