Last week my sweet Hypatia passed away.
There aren't any words to express the depth of my sadness. I feel broken. I feel like my insides have been completely ripped out. The thought of having to spend the rest of my life without her is unbearable. I am absolutely, completely lost and so incredibly lonely without her.
She was the most kind and gentle creature I've ever known. She was my shadow, and followed me everywhere I went. I keep looking back, hoping to see her a few steps behind me but she isn't there. I keep waking up, hoping to see her laying next to me but she isn't there. She'll always live in my heart but right now, today, that isn't good enough. I want her back with me so badly. I just want to kiss her forehead and hold her in my arms.
I am having a very, very hard time coping with this. A lot harder than I expected. I've known for years that this was imminent -- she's been sick on and off since 2008 -- I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't. I really have no idea how to BE. Just existing is difficult right now. I miss her so much. I can't believe it's only been a few days, but at the same time I can't believe it's ALREADY been a few days.
Hypatia was my EVERYTHING, my cat soul mate, my best friend in the whole world. I just miss her so much.
I don't think I can blog for a little while. If anyone wants to submit guest posts, I would be very grateful. You can send them to me here.