what are you doing new year's eve?

My family is particularly excited about the New Year this time around because "19" is my parents' number. They met on December 19th and they've been wishing each other a happy anniversary on the 19th of every single month (not just Decembers) for almost 50 years now. I think we have to do something to celebrate the Year of Nineteen in some way, but we haven't decided how yet.

And personally, I am just SO ready to say goodbye to 2018. Aside from my health issues, this year was a struggle in so many ways, and without a doubt the worst year of my life. I haven't written much about a lot of things because they felt too raw and personal at the time but we had a lot of family health crises, and our family cat passed away suddenly and unexpectedly earlier this year, just a month after we had celebrated 15 years with her. Her absence has been felt very heavily all year, and made each successive heartache that much harder to deal with.

I decided to do one second a day this year, and there were so many times where I felt like "why did I choose THIS year of all years to record video of every single day?" but I played the whole video back today and despite all of the crushing stress and grief there were so many beautiful moments and happy days peppered in there. It was actually a joy to watch, and it reminded me that even in my very worst year I have a wonderful life. I will 100% be doing one second a day again in 2019 and I highly recommend it. When I started recording I would lament that most days I didn't record anything other than my cats, but once we lost Chloe I realized how important those videos really are. Every second matters, and every second is worth remembering.

I hope you have a wonderful 2019, guys! Thanks for reading along here. I appreciate you so much <3

dress - old | shoes - aldo

a belated joyeux noël

I got this sweater from ASOS in my normal size, an 8, and it was ENORMOUS. Not in a "Ooh! I'm losing weight and need to size down" way, but in a "did they accidentally send me the wrong size??" way. I traded it in for a 4 and it's STILL too big. If it wasn't out of stock now I would - bewilderingly - trade this in for a 2. I even tried putting it in the drier and it's still huge. But I love the design and (as I've already said a few times recently) I just love saying Joyeux Noël, so this is a must-keep for me!

I feel like the cut-off for wearing Christmas stuff is 11:59PM on Christmas Day but I can't help myself - I need to stretch it all the way until the new year! I wonder if people who get mad about holidays starting too early also get mad about people ending them too late? Hmm.

sweater - asos | skirt - c/o modcloth

boots - amazon | hat - forever 21 (old)

busy bee

On Tuesday I got home from work close to midnight and immediately changed into my pajamas and started filling out my Christmas cards. The holiday season this year has been so hectic and fast-paced that it's been hard to find time for fun festivities, but I'm trying. Usually I throw a birthday dinner for Frank Sinatra every December 12th with homemade pasta sauce using his recipe, but I was so done-in yesterday that I just ordered takeout pasta instead! I'm hoping that if I keep working my behind off every waking minute that maybe I'll make a size-able dent in my bills but man, oh man I cannot WAIT for January!

I have visions of myself curled up in bed ALL DAY with Arrietty binge-watching Schitt's Creek and Alain Delon movies. Waking up in pajamas, leaving them on all day, and then going to sleep in the same pajamas. Giving my face a break from makeup and letting my hair be its normal unruly self. Laugh out loud when my fitbit tells me to get up and walk 250 steps (I don't think so, buddy! NOT TODAY!) I am making this relaxation day happen in January somehow, some way, I will do it.

dress - asos | turtleneck - forever 21 

tights - target (old) | shoes - bait footwear

bells are ringing

A hot debate is currently raging in my mind as to whether or not I will wear this pretty dark green lace bell-sleeved dress on Christmas or go the cozy route and stay in pajamas all day. It's a tough call since I always want to look picture-perfect and it's so rare that I have a real opportunity to play dress up (other than "I can do what I want and today I'm wearing a cocktail dress to shop for groceries!" lol!) but I also feel a real tug to play it comfy and sit on the floor in pjs sipping hot cocoa.

Either way, I did wear this dress this weekend (like I said, you don't need a real reason to play dress-up!) and I felt so festive and fancy! Oh, and it's 40% off today only over at Modcloth if you spend $100 or more. I have been pretty good at curbing my spending lately but I have my eye on this sweatshirt, this dress, this dress, this dress, and this dress. It's so hard to resist when the dresses are already super on sale and the 40% off brings them down to about $20 each! I feel like it's actually responsible of me to buy them when they're discounted so much, right? ;)

dress - c/o modcloth | cat belt - modcloth | shoes - amazon