roller skating is a pain in the...


When I purchased my roller skates last year, I was lured by their cute girly exterior. The bright, clean white boots sitting daintily upon bubble gum pink rollers seemed like the perfect sport for a lazy weakling like myself. They look like they're made for three year old girls -- roller skating must be a piece of cake!

Um, no. I tried them out for the first time today at the park. I dragged along my brother, Kyle, who was probably very embarrassed to be seen with me in my matching helmet-knee pad-elbow pad-wrist guard get up. And probably even more embarrassed when I gripped onto his wrist and would not let go from the moment I stood up on the skates.

Roller skating is hard!

We made it about halfway through the park (maybe 1/3 a mile? I don't know.. it seemed like 8.) before I decided I wanted to go back. I took dance classes for 13 years, so I thought I was coordinated enough to pull this off. But keeping your balance while shuffling your feet, and trying to avoid falling headfirst onto the sloped pavement is a lot harder than doing a pirouette.

Believe it or not, though, I made it all the way through the park without falling down! By the time we got near the entrance, I was pretty worn out, and collapsed on a bench while my brother called my mom to come pick up my body. I took off my elbow pads and wrist guards, closed my eyes and dreamed of ice cold water and air conditioning.

Kyle got the bright idea to meet our mom closer to the entrance, so I heaved myself up, gripped his wrist and tried once more to skate. Naturally, since I had just removed my wrist and elbow pads, my feet gave out from under me not two feet away from the bench. I fell bum first onto the pavement, and stayed there until my mom came.

I think I have a pretty awesome brother. After all of this, he still said he'd go with me again next week. That is, assuming I'm up and moving again by then.