Wednesday, August 30, 2017

my yoga pants

I noticed recently that I was falling into the habit of throwing on leggings and a t-shirt or sweater whenever I left the house to run errands. Partially because I usually go for a walk while I'm out, so it's nice to be wearing something comfy, partially because I'm lazy, and partially because I've been very self conscious about my appearance lately and I just haven't felt much excitement about getting dressed. Anyway, for whatever reason, I was looking a little sloppy.

I was looking for a maxi dress for my Halloween costume this year when I came across this dress on amazon. I've been on a very strict spending freeze (Halloween costume materials notwithstanding lol) since April and haven't actually purchased ANY new clothes for myself since then. But I decided to cave in when I saw this dress. It's comfortable, it's lined, it has sleeves (I'm one of those "doesn't wear sleeveless even in summer" people.. as you can probably tell by the fact that all of my outfit posts in my summer archives include cardigans lol) it has belt loops, and, the best part, it's a petite size. So I didn't even have to hem it! Normally I can't buy a maxi at all without also factoring in the cost of a tailor lol.

I'm so happy with this! I feel like it looks better in the mirror than it does in my outfit photos (I've taken pictures so infrequently this year that I kind of forgot how devastating it is to think you look fierce in the mirror and then have that feeling crushed once you start snapping photos!) And considering how much I love the middle ages, I love wearing things that feel slightly medieval haha!

I still wear my nice clothes when I'm feeling up to it, and that isn't as infrequently as I'm probably making it sound, but it's just really nice to have a go-to that I can throw on when I'm feeling kind of "blah" and still look put together.

Overall this year has been a big bummer appearance-wise. I'm STILL not really feeling the pixie (I had it cut in March! Yikes!) but it just seems like such a challenge to grow it out that I keep getting it trimmed. Maybe when I get back from Paris in October I'll start the long grueling process. I do have some wigs I can wear while it's in the shaggy mullet stage...

I've also really noticed my face starting to age. Not like wrinkles or anything, just .. aging. My under-eyes are a little sunken and my cheeks are getting kind of droopy. I really want to embrace it and be like "it adds character!" but it's tough. I had a really hard time with the idea of turning 30 last year, but I didn't expect my worries about growing older to start materializing on my face so soon.

But. You guys know how much I love movies. You know in movies there are people who are leading ladies, and then there are people who are kind of like their wisecracking sidekicks? Not really pretty, just sassy and sarcastic? That's how I've always thought of myself. I'm like a character actor. And I'm just growing into my character actor face now, I guess lol.

This stuff weighs on me sometimes, but only really in the morning when I'm putting on makeup and getting dressed. Once I'm done with that, I just move through the world like a confident human and I mostly forget how I look.

I guess all the word vomit is just because I really do want to take more outfit photos. I've always enjoyed doing it, I love having the visual record of how my style and my room changes over the years. And I don't want to stop taking pictures just because I'm feeling insecure. After all, in my very first outfit photo ever, I blocked out my face. Somehow I got over that and I think I can again.

dress - amazon | shoes - blowfish | flower crown - modcloth