sweet and gentle

Today is one month since I said goodbye to Hypatia. It's been, without a doubt, the worst month of my life. But I'm trying really hard to let all of the good memories comfort me instead of making me sad. I was talking to my dad a few nights ago about how much I miss her, and then we got on the subject of painting and art, and how I hardly ever feel inspired to put paint to canvas anymore, as if all of my creativity has been completely drained. He suggested that I consider the qualities that made Hypatia such a special cat -- her gentleness and her sweetness -- and try to channel that into art.. to let her live on as a muse.

I thought about it a lot, and I kept coming back to one image - a photograph of my dad's mother taken in the 1940's near the water (you can view the original here) I was still very young when my Grandmom Eve passed away, but my own recollections of her, along with all of the stories I've heard from my parents, reflect an incredibly kind, gentle woman whose memory still brings comfort to my dad and my mom. I like to think that if there is anything after this life, she's taking care of my Hypatia for me right now until I get to see her again.

As usual I'm not 100% happy with the final product (is any painter/writer/artist ever?) but it was so nice to paint again, even if I did feel pretty rusty. But this particular piece wasn't so much about the final product, anyway, as it was about the process. I forgot how therapeutic painting could be.. letting myself get enveloped in the warm memories of two gentle souls and releasing some of my heartache onto the canvas.

scathingly brilliant moms

I know a lot of people think they have the best mom on the planet, but I really do. People who think their moms are the best meet my mom and change their mind. There's a picture of her in the dictionary next to "mother." There's also a picture of her next to "chocoholic" but that's beside the point.. She's just plain amazing, and I'm so so lucky to have ended up with her. When life is incredibly rotten and I think I have the worst luck ever, I remember that she and my dad are my parents and I realize I've got it pretty good after all.

Since I'm moving in a couple months, I couldn't give her anything sentimental today or there'd be a weep-fest for sure. (I'm having a hard enough time just writing this post.) I couldn't say it to her in person today, not wanting to turn us both into waterfalls for the next 24 hours, but she's seriously my absolute best friend on the planet. I'm going to miss her like mad and I can't wait for her and my dad to join me in Canada next year.

Three generations: my grandmom, me and my mom

my mom's mom, me and my dad's mom

Grandmom Dawn with my mom when she was a baby

Grandmom Eve with my dad when he was a baby

I know I probably love my cats TOO much, and a lot of people wouldn't think cats belong in a mother's day post... but I am so thankful for Chloe's mom and Hypatia's mom. They gave me the best cats anyone could hope for (albeit one of them tries to kill me on a regular basis, but still..) and I almost wish they were humans so I could send them some kind of thank you card..

Do you want to comment, but have no idea what to say? Trust me, I've been there! So to make things a little easier, here is a question you can answer if you can't think of anything else to say! :)

Who is your favorite movie or tv mom? I think mine is Glynis Johns in Mary Poppins..

Style Idol - My Grandmom

My grandparents got married and had my dad a lot later than most people at the time; I think they were around 40 when he was born. So I never got to meet my grandfather, and I only knew my grandmother for three years before she passed away. My grandfather was reportedly the king of corny jokes (a trait my dad has inherited) and my grandmother was a sweetheart who didn't know how to cook, and loved to play the piano. My mom said they were deeply in love for their whole lives-- when my grandfather died, my grandmother did not stop mourning him. It was over a year before my parents could even get her out of the house to a restaurant.

My grandmother also loved fashion. My mom doesn't like clothes at all, so she's always saying I inherited my sartorial interests from my Grandmom Eve :) We also look really alike.. in some pictures I feel like I'm looking at a photo of myself taken in 1939! I love that through these photos, and the stories I hear from my parents, I feel like I've gotten to know her so well. She just seems so spunky!