lazy saturday

It feels so weird posting an outfit on a Saturday. I have no idea why I arbitrarily decided that weekends were off-limits for outfits, but for some reason I've hardly ever posted them since I started blogging almost 5 years ago. I still get dressed on Saturday and Sunday and sometimes those outfits deserve to be shared, darn it!

Totally completely unrelated to anything, but I just thought I'd share this since I'm kind of obsessed -- I recently got this little elliptical machine that sits under your desk, so you can exercise while you're working and it is probably the best purchase I've made all year. I'm one of those people who always buys new exercise equipment and then never uses it. I have a stationery bike, a stepper, a treadmill and an ab roller all collecting dust in the basement. But for the first time I'm actually using my new gadget daily! To me it feels sort of like a stationery bike, except that your seat is an actual chair instead of an uncomfortable hard plastic triangle. I've been doing it for about three weeks now and I'm already feeling better. My dad and I go for walks every night and I'm not getting winded like I used to, and my dad keeps telling me to slow down. Basically I'm just like "FINALLY! Exercise I can do while I sit at my computer watching Netflix, packing orders and drinking iced tea. SCORE."

dress- h&m | cardigan - forever 21 | tights - we love colors

shoes - bait footwear | collar - c/o cleo ferin mercury | brooch - vintage

my kind of workout

Mother Nature may not have completely gotten the message that it's spring yet (they're predicting snow for tonight! ahhhh!) but we have had a couple days where going outside for more than a few minutes wasn't lethal. On one of those days a few weeks ago, I ventured over to the park for a good old fashioned workout.

By old fashioned I mean the kind of workout I did as a kid. No treadmills, sit-ups or aerobic videos, just simple play. As a grown up I hate any kind of activity that could be classified under the term "working out." It's not that I hate being active, because I actually love it. I just hate how adults have made staying active so darn boring. I don't want to run on a machine indoors watching a cooking show -- I want to be outside jumping rope. You'd be amazed what a good workout you can get from pumping your legs on a swing set, and I guarantee it's 100x more fun than sitting on an elliptical machine in your basement.

I've been thinking a lot lately about childhood vs. grown up things, and how society expects you to stop doing or liking things when you reach a certain age (what age I'm not exactly sure, but I'm assuming sometime between 10 and whatever age you are now) I just think that's sad. I bet a lot of adults pass by swing sets *wishing* they could hop on and experience some of the weightless joy they knew as a child but don't because they think they're too old.



My grandmom has been an avid swing-set fan since I was a kid and at 76 she still loves it. My mom still plays with legos even though me and my brother have long outgrown our interest in them. And my dad, who came with me to the park to take these pictures, had just as much fun at the playground as I did. Basically what I'm saying is -- you're never too old for anything that you enjoy.

gola sneakers - c/o modcloth | hat - gift from casey

sweater - modcloth | skip it - amazon | jeans & coat - old navy

to feel light

I had a dream last night that I was skinny again. I felt lighter, I moved easily and gracefully. I was conscious that I was dreaming and reveled in my lightness. I rummaged my closet for shorter skirts that I could wear without feeling self conscious. Moving, sitting and standing were weightless.

I miss being skinny. I miss it, not because of how I looked but because of how I felt. I miss feeling light and totally carefree. Not caring if fabric clung or bunched, or if skirts rode up past my knees. Paying no notice to my appearance because it didn't feel so constantly present.

Now, I'm always conscious of my body. Conscious of my weight. Of the louder sound that my feet make on the ground as I walk; of the tight feeling when my jeans cut into my stomach when I sit. I feel heavy, weighed down, more tired and less bouncy.

*

I've been walking now for a month, every single night I walk almost a mile. I eat healthy. I exercise. Yet I still see no difference. When I remember what if felt like when I was thin, I wonder if I'll ever feel like that again. I really miss the old me, and no matter how hard I try I don't think I'll ever be her again.

these flats were made for walking

dress - H&M
shoes - Target

I'm not big on exercise... I used to come up with every kind of reason to get out of gym class (think Mary & Rachel in The Trouble with Angels) and as an adult I've done maybe one sit up and half a push up before giving up on work outs altogether. So I'm pretty darn proud of myself for going walking almost every single night last week. I only missed one day, and that was because it was pouring outside! It's without a doubt the most exercise I've had in the last six years since I was able to walk out of high school gym forever. And hey, walking outside for a half hour is about 800 times better than getting dodge balls thrown at you and having to wear a bathing suit in front of all your classmates ;-)

My only complaint is that, since I don't own a single pair of sneakers, I've had to go walking in either my little black flats, flip flops or rainboots! I'm thinking of getting a pair of traditional converse sneakers but I'm not sure which color yet. I'm leaning towards purple...

ps. That's the dress I got in New York last week as an early birthday present from my mom!