DIY: how to be a successful creeper

How to be a successful creeper by Amber, Laughing With Broken Eyes // In the spirit of Halloween, I find it necessary to speak of the taboo that we all keep hidden.. because when you really think about it, 99% of (my) blogging is creeping on other blogs. Let's face it-- sometimes we fall head over heels for a blog but don't want to completely weird the blog author out with our new-found obsession. It is at this point that we decide to creep or not to creep. Below, I will illustrate the do's and do-not's of creeping on people, blogs, and internet personas in general.

Step One: Choosing your victim.

Scour the blogosphere until you find that one special blog. While you can creep more than one blog at a time, today we're just going to focus on one .You can work your way up.

Before choosing a victim, ask yourself these questions:

-Is this blogger already familiar with me? (i.e. facebook friends, mutual friends, things that might come back to you and point you out as the creeper that you are)
-How often does this blogger post? (the more posts that are available to you, the easier it is to creep)
-What do I love about this blog/blogger? (This is really just preparation, however)

In all fairness, I will use darling Kate as an example. Kate is one of the most charming gals.

Step Two: Study, study, study.

Read every single post that you can from said blog. Don't comment yet, though. It's important that you comment only on certain posts and only when you have something brilliant to say. It will just mean so much more this way. Make note of some of your favorite posts, maybe even print them out. This way, you can read them on the way to class, in class, at lunch, in the shower, whenever. you. want.

Step Three: Stalk your victim online.

Find him/her on facebook, twitter, tumblr, anything you can.
Don't click 'follow' just yet. If you do, you've crossed the line from creeper to stalker, and it isn't time for that yet. The thing to remember is that you don't want your victim to know about you just yet, or at least not until you've studied enough.
Read status updates, lol if you must, creep through all photographs you can find.
Did your victim post something on someone's facebook wall? Click to find out! Did your victim tweet something to another person? Read through then entire conversation.
A real creeper knows that you must creep on your victim's friends (creeping by association).
Be sure to take notes. A real creeper always takes notes.


You may now follow your victim on twitter. REFER TO YOUR NOTES. Upon my creeping of Kate, I discovered that she loves cats. Therefore, I will scour the internet for the most hilarious cat joke ever and then randomly tweet 'heard the funniest joke ever- make me think of @KATEGABRIELLE!'
Now I will tweet the joke, she will love it, AND SHE WILL FOLLOW ME BACK. OMG OMG OMG.

It's now time to start commenting on facebook status updates or 'liking' posts. Be sure not to comment on anything older than three days. If so, you're going to give yourself away. There's a difference between BEING a creeper and CREEPING others out.

Step Five: The First Comment.

This is perhaps the most crucial step. Now I know that you're probably bubbly with excitement, shaking with anticipation, but it's important to take a breath and calm down. Yes, this is really happening. Yes, you are going to... comment.... on a post. Let me talk you through it.

Ask yourself..

*What can I contribute to this conversation?
*What do I know about this person (REFER TO YOUR NOTES) that I can incorporate into my comment?
*How can I be charming and aloof?

Once you've decided what to comment, it is time.
Hit that comment button and don't look back.. well, until it's time to reread the post again.

Congratulations on creeping and making contact. Now maybe the apple of your eye will return the comment thus beginning a life-long friendship.


Hope you guys enjoyed this post!
You can creep on me via:
blog // twitter // facebook // tumblr

Love Always,
Amber Rose