why why why??

I woke up this morning feeling a little crummy, logged into my e-mail and found out an uninsured $70 order I mailed in December is lost. Nice start, right? Then I logged into blogger to publish my comments and saw that unavoidable follower number glaring at me from my dashboard. You can't help but see it every single time you go on your dash, it's gigantic and bold and impossible to avoid. Today it went down by two, yet again. I've been consistently losing followers here for about two or three weeks and it's really starting to worry me. I know I shouldn't care, but something is obviously wrong if you're all leaving in droves! I'm writing this because I know someone out there is going to be visiting my blog today for the sole purpose of un-following, and hopefully they will see this little plea and tell me why! Am I boring? Do I post too much? Too little? I doubt it's too little... do you just want to discourage me? Because it's working!

I try so hard not to care or look at those numbers, but honestly when almost every single morning you see the numbers tick down it really hurts your self esteem! How could it not? It's like I'm Veruca Salt standing on the egg scale and each day someone is hitting the "bad egg" button and sending me through a garbage shoot. It hurts.

Design Sponge did a really interesting article recently on the etiquette of commenting -- I think someone needs to do the etiquette of blog following. I don't follow a blog unless I've looked through their archives, got a sense of what the blog is about and really enjoyed perusing their posts. When I follow a blog, I am committing to it. Unless a blogger posts something VERY offensive (and I'm not particularly easy to offend) or does something mean, I'm not going to unfollow them. For one thing, I start off by following blogs that interest me, so I wouldn't feel the need to unfollow. And for another, it's just not polite.

The internet makes it really easy to be anonymous and hurt people we don't even know by something so simple as pressing a button. When you hit "unfollow" you're done, but the person on the other end might be really offended if they're super sensitive with an ego as fragile as butterfly wings (guilty!)

I know some people delete their accounts, or unfollow everyone and start from scratch but I don't think that accounts for the massive exodus of followers I'm seeing. Something is fishy, and I just had to say something about it because it is bothering me. Honestly, every single time I think about it, I know that I shouldn't care. It's just a number.. it's not important.. blah blah blah. It still bothers me. :(